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About Terry

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  • Birthday 10/12/2008
  1. LONDON LAWYER V GLASGOW COP A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!! Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.' London Lawyer says, 'What for?' Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.' London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.' Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.' London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?' Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!' London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.' Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.' The London Lawyer exits his vehicle. The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'
  2. Monastery Life A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks copy the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot and points out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." He goes down into the dark caves beneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault unopened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !" His forehead is bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE!
  3. I know some of us have covered some of this on other posts, but here goes anywayI have stated that I believe that KS temple was never built,I now am beginning to think that it may have been,So let me put my thoughts to you all for comment( BTW I am far enough away from you lot, that I will be safe :w00t:)I am fairly certain that no physcial proof of KS temple has been found, however what we do know is that the temple WAS REBUILT after the return from babylon ( RA Ritual & Bible).It was also rebuilt and consecrated around second century BCE ( Maccabees)Then it was last rebuilt by King Herod.If you rebuild something, there must have been something to rebuild, we know nebuchadnezzar destroyed a temple in 586BC, had KS Temple survived for 400 odd years from consrtuction untouched, I can't say.Oh, and one further problem, it is impossible, taking the bible instructions to build the excat same edifice. There are too many contradictions and physcial impossibilities in the bible designsJust to be safe, I am digging a bigger foxhole
  4. An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said: 'Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.' The priest replied: 'That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.' 'There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.' The priest said, 'That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger.. but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven..' 'Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.' 'And what is that?' asked the priest. 'Should I tell her the war is over?''
  5. Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.' The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jello and ice cream. It's a breeze.' The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?' The first kid says, 'A circumcision.' 'Whoa!' the second kid replies. 'Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year.
  6. A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry.. No sex this time.' A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Paddy guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.' As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.' Paddy replied, 'No it ain't, Mick. It's not rigged at all. My wife won twice last week.'
  7. A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One bag rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag...' 'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. 'I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me...' 'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?' 'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers... Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes.' 'Well, that seems only fair,' laughs the cop. 'OK? Good luck!... Oh, by the way... what's in the other bag?' 'Well, you know', says the little old lady, 'not everybody pays.'
  8. Thank you for replying, I am pleased that he was and is acknowledged as a freemason
  9. I have over the years seen references to Sir Christopher Wren being a freemason, but whenver I have bought it up have always been told that I am wrong, or the sources I am reading are wrong or not reliable, so imagine my surprise when on another list, what I consider to be proof was posted,so now I am asking you my brothers to tell me have I got it wrong again, or is there something to this, like he was a mason after allOn 24/7/09 11:29, "Tom Mc Rae" <thomas.mcrae@bigpond.com> wrote: > Brethren, > is there any CONCRETE evidence of Sir Christopher Wren being a > Freemason ? Brethren Records in the Royal Society archives state that Christopher Wren was adopted into the Fraternity of Accepted Masons on May 18, 1691. "Records of the Lodge Original, No. 1, now the Lodge of Antiquity No. 2" mention him as being Master of the lodge. http://www.freemasonry.bcy.ca/biography/wren_c/adoption.html http://www.masonicdictionary.com/wren2.html By Bros. Bernard Williamson and Michael Baigent Originally presented Summer 1996. A search through the archives of the Royal Society has provided us with new information regarding the claim that Sir Christopher Wren was initiated into Freemasonry in London on May 18th 1691. This claim was advanced in a handwritten note added to the manuscript of John Aubrey's Naturall Historie of Wiltshire, 1685 now in the Bodleian library at Oxford. This manuscript is in two parts, bound and filed separately as MS AUBREY 1 and MS AUBREY 2. In the second part a short account of Freemasonry appears: "Sir William Dugdale told me many years since, that about Henry the third's time, the Pope gave a bull, or diploma ['patents' added above] to a company of Italian Architects ['Freemasons' added above] to travel up and down and over Europe, to build churches. From those derived the Fraternity of Free Masons [adopted masons added above]. They are known to one and another by certain signs & ['marks' erased] and watch words: it continues to this day. They have several Lodges in several Countries for their reception: and when any of them fall into decay, the brotherhood is to relieve him & c. The manner of their adoption is very formal, and with an oath of secrecy." The page to the left of this account was originaly left blank and on this page, at some later time, were added three additional notes in Aubrey's own hand. One of these notes concerns Freemasonry. It reads thus: "MDM, this day ( may 1691 the 18th. Being Monday after Rogation Sunday) is a great convention at St. Pauls' church of the fraternity of the Accepted[ 'free' being struck out] masons where Sir Christopher Wren is to be adopted a brother: and Sir Henry Goodric of ye tower, & divers ['several' being struck out] others - and there have been kings, that have been of this -Sodalitie." Of those who have studied the text, Clarke in ARS Quatour Coronatorum , 1965, concluded that Wren was "almost certainly a freemason. John Hamill, in 1986, in his book "THE CRAFT," is more cautious, concluding that however possible it might be, "it is not proven". As we will show, the text can now be accorded a greater degree of veracity. To understand this it is necessary to look at the history of John Aubrey's manuscript. John Aubrey's Manuscript John Aubrey, who lived 1626 to 1697 was one of the founding members of the Royal Society, being recorded in the list of Fellows May 20th 1663. In 1685 he wrote his Naturall Historie of Wiltshire, It was never published but remained in manuscript form. However, the Royal Society so admired his work, and felt that it was of such value to Fellows, that an official copy was ordered and made for the societies archives in order that Fellows would not have to travel to Oxford to consult it. Dr. Michael Hunter, in his biography of John Aubrey wrote: "Above all, the Royal Society did Aubrey the honour of having a transcript made of his Naturall Historie of Wiltshire in 1690-1, a unique and extraordinary gesture showing their esteem for it, which cost them the considerable sum of seven pounds.(�832.64 in 2001)" The Clerk of the Royal Society, Mr. B. G. Cramer who, in 1690, began the task and completed it by mid 1691, made this copy, which is still in the archives of the Royal Society. It is listed as MISC. Ms 92, and it runs to 373 pages. When Cramer was ordered to produce this copy Aubrey took the opportunity to make many additions and emendations and he oversaw their inclusion into the new text. This is indicated by a short note, in Aubrey's own hand, attached to folio 124a. of part two of the original manuscript: Aubrey writes, referring to a printed pamphlet on wool which has been appended: " Mr Cramer! As to this Treatise of wool, transcribe only the presentment of the grand jury at Brewton in Somersetshire" When Aubrey had written the original manuscript he had written only on the first page of each leaf. In consequence, a blank page appears to the left of each page of text. On this blank page are written the additions and emendations relating to the text on the right. It can be supposed that all these changes were made for the purpose of Cramer's new copy, but we cannot be absolutely certain of this. We can say however, that Cramer included them in his new copy. In his copy, Cramer included the following in the main body of text: "Memorandum. This day ( may the 18th. Being Munday 1691 after Rogation Sunday0 is a great convention at St. Paul's church of the fraternity of the Adopted Masons: where Sir Christopher Wren is to be adopted a Brother: and Sir Henry Goodric of the tower & divers others. There have been Kings, that have been of this Sodality." We can, therefore, accept that Aubrey, Wren and the Royal Society agreed with this addition citing Wren's initiation into Freemasonry. It seems reasonable to accept it as a truthful statement. John Aubrey was a close friend of Sir Christopher Wren. Both were in the Royal Society, Wren had been a founding member of the Society and served as its president from 1680-2. He was still alive and active in the society in 1691, the date of Cramer's copy. It has been suggested that perhaps Wren intended to be initiated but on the day he was unable to attend. However, on the 18th. May 1691, the date of the initiation and the date of the additional text relating to Freemasonry, Cramer would have still been working on earlier pages of his copy. Given that the date is written on the day in question and that Cramer Copied this page at a later date, after the fact, there was ample time to amend the text to reflect any variation on the planned event. That this was not done is good evidence that Wren did not miss his 'adoption'. In Conclusion, given that none of these men objected to this statement, nor altered it after the event but prior to the coping, we can accept that it records a real occurrence. We can be confident that Sir Christopher Wren was indeed initiated into Freemasonry in 1691. We should like to thank the librarian and staff of both the Royal Society and the Bodleian Library for their help in making these manuscripts available to us. See also : http://www.freemasons-freemasonry.com/christopher_wren_freemasonry.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Wren http://www.freemasonry.bcy.ca/biography/wren_c/wren_c.html __._,_.___. __,_._,___
  10. A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane That will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.' 'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?' 'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.' So ... his father sends the dog and $2,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know. 'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read.' 'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?' 'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.' The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!' 'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy till messing around with that little redhead barmaid at the pub?'' The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!' 'I sure did, Dad!' 'That's my boy!' The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
  11. WALKING THE DOG A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight. He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, 'Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?' The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.' Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story.. Have a great day and remember.. ? ....THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR. A DAY WITHOUT LAUGH IS A DAY WASTED!!!
  12. WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS This one is priceless.. Wrong email address. A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: October 16, 2005 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
  13. UCLA STUDY (VERY INTERESTING & SHORT) A study worth sharing with friends both male and female: A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is In her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.. No further studies are expected.
  14. Grandma's Oranges �� Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. �� One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. �� Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by. �� Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" �� Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, Lulu told her that the police were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some. �� "Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," Grandma said, and she proceeded to the back of the line. �� A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all the prostitutes. When he got to grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it old girl?" �� Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck em' dry." �� The policeman fainted.
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