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Alan Campbell

THE Jokes Topic - Festive Board Ammo

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Aclearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City andlaid down on the back seat.

Thecab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at thewoman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

Thewoman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? -Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

Theold Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you sumsing, lady. I vasn'tstaring at you like you
tink; det vould not be proper vair I come from."

Thedrunk woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at myboobs or ass, sweetie, what are you doing then?"

Hepaused a moment, then told her..."Vell, M'am, I am looking and I amlooking, and I am tinking
to myself,'Vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?

Now, that's a REAL Businessman!

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We've heard colleaguesreferring to people with Guts, or with Balls.

Do they, however, know thedifference between them?

Here's the officialdistinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, beingmet by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: Are you stillcleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smellingof perfume and beer - lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife onthe butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next,Chubby!"

I trust this clears up any confusion.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.

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